January 4th, 2011

your ex-lover is dead

(no subject)

Happy New Year everyone. I need to update more. LJ used to give me an outlet to rationalize my thoughts and emotions before trying to explain them to anyone else, so now I feel like I've become less articulate and more hysterical in general day-to-day interaction, which is......not a good thing :/ Also, 2010 was an epic year for me, and I feel a little sad that I've failed to document it as much as it deserved.

Key RL development: Didn't end up go to Columbia University. What can I say? I didn't have it in me to leave my boyfriend. That's about it, really. I was afraid that I would have to endure a lot of incredulity and scorn on the part of my friends, but fortunately they were all for the most part amazingly supportive and understanding. Best reaction: Shahab's - "Oh my god, oh my god, you're giving up Columbia? For Will? This is unbelievable, this is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I think I might cry. CAN I TELL EVERYONE?" *proceeds to text, literally, everyone*. Or Yisum - "I told my stepfather about what you did and he got really sentimental, he said it was nice to that some young people still believed in love." :'))))) My friends. I always forget about awesome they really are.

So. Life in general: I graduated with a First, I'm back in at the LSE doing an MSc in International Political Economy, I'm trying to get employed while juggling a degree in a subject matter I'm ufamiliar with, I have a telephone interview with Deloitte tomorrow and really should get back to preparing for it. Will and I are good, we're going strong, and he's told me that if I fail to get a job in London, he'll move back to Singapore with me. (I know saying and doing something as significant as that are two different things altogether, but hey, it's a start). Aside from the occasional existential crisis (do I really want to be a corporate drone?) I am generally happy.

Oh - everyone needs to watch The Wire, Season 1 is possibly the best TV series ever made. This is coming from someone who found it difficult to get into at first. It's not an easy show - it's uncomfortable, it's challenging, it really makes you work, as a viewer - but whatever you invest in it is paid back tenfold :)

2011 Resolutions:
1. Get employed
2. Live the questions now: "I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." - Rilke
3. Stop being an insecure little bitch. I can't please everyone, so I should just work on appreciating the people who are worth my friendship and time, and stop stressing out about the people who aren't.